If At First You Don't Succeed...Try and Try Again (Day #13 January 24, 2013)

I have never really been good at taking multiple choice tests, or even just tests in general, but when it comes to writing an essay for a test or verbally describing information I have been given or have read about, I'm dead on. I was writing in my journal last night about how I haven't passed this exam 2 times!! This is a test that allows me to continue my masters degree of special education. I take full responsibility for not passing the exam these two times and I know that it is completely my fault for not studying as much as I should have. But 2 times...who does that? Well, apparently I do! I also lost the last fight I did a year1/2 ago in August. It was from the SAME exact correlation of not being prepared and ready for something I knew was coming. I didn't train enough, or run enough, or didn't look at my study book enough, go through all my notecards. The reality is that I didn't do what I needed to do to get to where I wanted and needed to be.
This has ALL changed in my life as I speak before you today. I am more focused in life than I have ever been. These two events in my life (mentioned above) were true wake up calls that allowed me to realize certain things and aspects in my life that needed to change, like procrastination. My girlfriend is one of the biggest positive reinforcements in my life, if not the absolute biggest. She has helped change me into the person I am today, as well as the person I am becoming and I couldn't be more happy about our future together. She is not only my love, but she is my companion in life, my soulmate and life savior. Another side to this is that I don't drink or smoke anymore and don't really go out as much because it's the same thing everywhere you go!! Even in different countries and cultures it is the SAME THING people, it's not going to be ANY different getting drunk in one city than it is in the next.  It's been the same people since I was 15 doing the same exact things. They are doing now the same things they were doing then, but in different settings and more of an evolved state of mind, but yet not, haha. I just don't get how some people just don't grow up in a sense of consciousness and awareness of their personal subjectiveness to society. Maybe try and grow and become something you might not have seen possible some years ago? And then again, people are people, they'll do what they do and desire to do. No one can  can help someone change unless they want to change and yearn for higher learning. 

What changes in for people that wants them to become a new person, or better person? You mostly hear stories about people who come from nothing and make something of themselves by becoming well established in society as a successful human being. What you don't hear is about the people who already have money making more money because money is what they DO have. You might hear about fluctuations with their money, but what else is new? Don't let people with money who hang with the 'cool' people direct your ways of life and thinking. Think for yourself and create/build yourself as an individual within the world. You take the first couple of steps, and believe me...they will definitely follow.


"It is better to take lead than to follow those who are lost"

-Preston Smith